
- What is body shaming?
Body shaming is judgment and criticism of someone’s weight, shape, size, and/or appearance. Body shaming is so embedded in our culture and social conditioning that we are often unaware that we do it. Our inner monologue, and how we talk about others, can become quietly toxic over time. That’s why change has to begin at both an individual and societal level. We need to shift how we think and talk about our bodies. Children need to be taught, from a young age, to be kind towards and accepting of all bodies. This way, as they mature, that mindset has a better chance of lasting into adulthood.
Here are some subtle and seemingly innocent remarks that are, in-fact, body shaming:
- “It’s important to wear clothes that fit you properly”
- “What have you been eating?”
- “Here’s a fitbit and gym membership as a holiday present”
- “Wouldn’t it be nice if you could fit into your old outfits?”
- “Should you be eating that?”
- “You’re looking good lately”
- “Have you lost weight?”
- “You’re lucky to have a partner that will stick by you at every weight and size”
- “How’s the weather down there (or up there)?”
- “You need to eat a burger, you’re too skinny”
- “You’re so slim!”
Technology has made body shaming easier to do with less consequences. The anonymity of typing hurtful words from behind a cell phone or computer screen makes it more prevalent. When you are not forced to face the person you are putting down, you can talk more freely without the social repercussions. Body shaming using technology is a particularly insidious form of bullying and verbal abuse.
- Why is body shaming bullying?
Bullying is purposely and aggressively directing harmful language and behaviors towards an individual or group of people. An imbalance of power usually exists between the two parties. The bully typically has more power or advantages over the more vulnerable person being bullied.
Body shaming is bullying focused on someone’s body and appearance. Putting someone down about how their body looks or functions is destructive to those being targeted. Anyone can be a bully who body shames others, and anyone can be a victim of it as well.
While I’m not here to debate about why some people become bullies, I can say that most of them derive empowerment and enjoyment from insulting and hurting others. They often project their own insecurities and perceived short-comings onto others too. Thus, bullies are very flawed people themselves, who then inflict this inner turmoil onto others.
- The consequences of body shaming
As a Dietitian, I observe body shaming day in and day out within my profession. I have witnessed many social media wellness influencers scrutinizing other people’s bodies. I see clients who shame and judge themselves, along with experiencing the same from their family and friends. I have both been body shamed by others, and by my own self. Women especially, from a young age, are almost taught to do this to themselves. Our culture does a great job of bullying and breaking apart women’s bodies too. There can be dire consequences for the targets of these harmful judgements though.
The conventional healthcare system is one of the worst body and fat shaming offenders. This weight stigma can lead to poorer patient treatment, failure to order needed tests and procedures, and a distrust of the medical system by those in bigger bodies. The result is worse patient outcomes, and in extreme cases, death. The archaic mindsets in medical institutions definitely need an overhaul, for the health and well-being of its patients.
Study after study shows that being body shamed can lead to new and worsening mental health issues, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, physical health problems, and over-exercising. Research shows that bullying leaves people with aftereffects that mimic post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s how debilitating bullying can be. Being body shamed for an extended period of time can cause chronically elevated cortisol levels, because it’s such a stressful experience. Chronically high cortisol levels are linked to mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. It’s also connected to weight gain and obesity, prediabetes and type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and certain types of cancers.
Clearly, bullying and body shaming have deleterious downstream effects for those receiving it. It’s time for our society to recognize how harmful it is. We need to take steps to stop it, and to protect and heal ourselves from it. Whether it originates from our own harsh inner voice, or from critical people in our lives, body shaming can only destroy, not build or support.
- Responding to body shaming
How can we react wisely to those who belittle us, and treat us unkindly? How can we cope with body shaming bullies? While we can’t usually change the people who do these things, we can use smart strategies that will help, and not escalate the situation.

- Ignore them and walk away
A bully’s lifeline is the attention and emotional reaction they get in response to their abuse. By ignoring their negativity, you are stopping them in their tracks. Same with walking away, if this is an in-person interaction. You are defusing the situation at its core when you refuse to react and comply with the bully’s treatment. This is much easier said than done, however. Even if you are successful with ignoring the bully, you can still be stressed and in pain. That’s why taking care of yourself after upsetting encounters is critical for your well-being.
- The best responses to body shaming
It’s not always possible to ignore someone when they are body shaming you. In this case, keep your responses short, sweet, and maybe even a little cheeky! Innocuous sounding phrases like, “Wow, you look great now!” are actually body judgement and shaming. When people have said this to me in the past, I would reply, “Thanks, I guess you saying that means you never thought I looked great before then, huh? Haha!” with a little laugh. This puts the spotlight back on them, makes light of their rude comment, and can help them realize that talking this way is hurtful. You can also say, “I don’t appreciate it when people make remarks about my body. I love my body, and only speak kindly to it. In the future, please refrain from making these kinds of comments.”
- Take time for self-care
Whether or not you ignore the bully, always turn inwards to self-soothe and regulate your nervous system after a troubling encounter. With your stress levels spiked, it’s important to calm yourself. Take some deep, slow breaths, go for a walk or run, journal, or talk to a trusted family member or friend. These activities keep you connected to your body, and enable you to shower it with love.
Stay hydrated, eat colorful fruits and vegetables, and consume nourishing, well-balanced meals. Cultivate a compassionate and friendly inner voice. The voice we hear most often is our own inner monologue. Speak to yourself as you would a best friend. Self-care, and loving your body unconditionally, are the best things to do when facing body shaming. If you feel like you need further support from a mental heath professional, don’t hesitate to seek one out.
Practice body positivity, acceptance, or neutrality. These mindsets and habits are some of the most potent antidotes to body shaming. I describe these powerful practices in my previous blog post, which can be found here.
- Realize that bullies are likely insecure and projecting
It might seem weird to intentionally feel compassion towards someone who is hurting you, but that is exactly what I am asking you to do. When someone is bullying another person, it’s because they are broken and hurting inside. When you understand this, your anger and frustration has the opportunity to morph into loving-kindness and compassion for this wounded person. It frees you from the prison of their disturbing behavior, and instead opens your heart to see them for who they are: emotionally fractured people.
- Be the change you wish to see in the world
One of the easiest ways to change the world is to embody that change yourself. Catch yourself when you may be body shaming or judging other people, even in your own mind. Don’t make mean comments on social media, via text, email, or in any other forms of written or verbal communication.
Uplift others, and how they view themselves, by first being kind to and accepting of yourself. Develop strong body positivity and confidence habits, and then radiate that out into the world. One person’s beliefs and actions can make a large, positive impact. Together, we can reinforce that all bodies are wonderfully unique, and that’s what makes them all beautiful.