Do you have a hard time looking at your body in the mirror without automatically judging or shaming its shape, size or appearance?
Does wearing a swimsuit make you feel self-conscious or wary of being shamed by yourself or others?
Maybe you are working towards weight or fitness goals, but feel dissatisfied or hateful about how your body looks before you achieve them.
If so, you are not alone, and this body positivity blog post is for you. Poor body image is on the rise due to things like social media, and harmful social and cultural conditioning. We can frequently be made to feel like who we are, and what we look like right now does not measure up. This can turn us into the proverbial horse with a dangling carrot in front of our faces, always striving for more, while neglecting to enjoy the present moment. Body positivity is a potent antidote to this and is the notion that everyone deserves to have a good body image, and to love and feel confident in their body as is.
How did we get here?
Social and cultural conditioning, toxic messages from the media, along with the rise of social media all combine to fuel body shaming, judgment and criticism. In addition, our family, friends, co-workers etc. can fill us with self-doubt and deflate our self-worth through their harsh opinions and comments about our body size, shape or weight.
Treating different body types as ‘trends’
Women’s bodies especially have been commodified, objectified and scrutinized for hundreds of years. From corsets for women in the Victorian era, to the dangerously skinny body shape popularity in the 1990s, to the more modern BBL body trend, women’s bodies are judged against the trend du jour. The pressure to keep up with these changing body standards can lead to eating disorders, harmful and invasive surgeries, and poor mental health outcomes for women.
This is unfortunate because our bodies are not meant to all be the same size and shape. We are all wonderfully unique people with our own individual backgrounds and life experiences. The pressure put on women and men to live up to some made-up societal body size and shape ideal or trend is the foundation for disordered eating and body dysmorphia. Every body size and shape is beautiful and is worth feeling great in.
Weight Neutrality and HAES (Health At Every Size) in practice
I have a weight-neutral private nutrition practice. This means I do not solely focus on weight change as a health goal, but also take into account other important health parameters like activity levels, stress levels, blood markers etc. I also am a HAES (Health At Every Size) healthcare practitioner, which means I believe that individuals can pursue health goals and be healthy at various weights, shapes and sizes.
The over focus on weight and weight loss strips people of their dignity and self-worth. Furthermore, it distracts from tangible action steps one can take to better their health situation like eating a well-balanced diet, engaging in more physical movement or managing their stress levels.
Having a weight-neutral and HAES approach in my private nutrition practice has been awesome both for me as a Dietitian and for my clients as well. Many of my clients go on to lose significant amounts of weight naturally and spontaneously due to honing in on diet and lifestyle changes. Most importantly, they feel safe and comfortable in our sessions together and in the interventions we plan. As a result, they are more successful in maintaining their diet and lifestyle changes for the long-term.
Why is summer a particularly tough time for body positivity?
Getting the ‘ideal beach body’ workout and fitness programs
There are so many workout programs and classes around getting fit and ‘physically ready’ for the beach season. This assumes that you aren’t already summer ready as you currently are. This type of messaging that you need to workout and lose weight in order to enjoy the summer or the beach is very problematic. It feeds right into toxic diet and weight loss culture, and is the prevailing cultural mentality about what one should do before wearing a swimsuit at the beach. I’m here to declare that everyone already has a beach body just by being themselves.
Social media’s ‘ideal body types’ and the use of photoshop/filters
Social media pops up here again, because the summer months are an opportune time for influencers to flaunt their often photoshopped and filtered physiques to the masses, as ‘inspiration’ or to set the ‘ideal’ body standard. The truth is, everyone is perfect. There I said it. Your body, it’s shape, size, weight, everything, is absolutely perfect. That doesn’t mean you can’t work towards health goals or aspirations. It just means you can work on them from a place of knowing you are already more than enough right now.
Warmer weather = less clothing and more openings for body judgment and shaming
As the temperatures continue to stay high, it’s natural to wear less or lighter clothing to stay cool in the heat. As more of your body is exposed, and therefore open to judgment, body shaming and criticizing can be more frequent. This can be difficult for people in bigger bodies, and is another reason why this season can be tricky. Although it is not your fault that people are brain-washed to believe that everyone’s bodies should be a certain type, you can unfortunately be on the receiving end of these false and outdated beliefs.
What if I’m not ready to practice body positivity right now?
Sometimes jumping into a body positivity or body confidence practice can be unrealistic or down right impossible. It’s important to honor how you feel, and to take baby steps towards loving and accepting your body. Maybe you can start with observing your body from an unbiased perspective. Instead of automatically believing the negative or judgmental thoughts that may come up about your body, try to detach and notice them with an attitude of objectivity, curiosity and friendliness.
Body neutrality focuses on appreciating the body and the many things it can do, while also releasing the need to praise or be enamored with every inch of it. Judging yourself for not loving your body enough can turn into another problem too! Body neutrality is a wonderful stepping stone and practice in and of itself. It helps to release the bondage of diet and body shaming culture so you can get back to what is most important: taking care of yourself and living the life you want with no apologies.
What body positivity practices can help me love, accept and feel more confident in my body?
Make a gratitude list about your body
Gratitude is a great practice for cultivating body positivity and confidence. Take out a notebook and pen, and write down as many things you are grateful for about your body and what it can do, as you can think of. It can be anything, and nothing is too insignificant to be thankful for.
Maybe you love your body shape, the crinkle of your nose when you laugh, your caring eyes, or how fast you can run. There are endless possibilities, but this exercise can teach you how much more your body is than just something to look at. Our bodies are magnificent. No matter what the media or society tells us, it is immeasurably vast and complex.
Embrace your uniqueness
Everyone is an individual and has their own fabulously distinctive attributes. What you have, someone else may not, and what they have, maybe some other people don’t. That’s what makes everyone beautiful and one of a kind. What are some lovely, unique characteristics about yourself and your body that you appreciate or admire? What positive qualities about your body stand out to you?
Reminding ourselves that everyone is different, and that we are not supposed to all be the same size, weight or shape is crucial. It can give you back the freedom and power to show up in the world as you are with confidence and self-esteem.
Don’t play the comparison game – not even to previous versions of yourself
It’s easy to compare how we look to our family, friends, celebrities etc. Social media makes squaring ourselves against others very accessible, even if the images we see are heavily edited and altered. Using exercises like the one I suggested above about noticing the special things about yourself and your body, can teach us that comparison doesn’t make sense in the end. We are each our own individual with our own specific genetic makeup, background, life situations and circumstances. Comparing ourselves to other people is a futile exercise in the end.
But what about comparing ourselves to earlier versions of ourselves, when we were a body shape or size that we desire more, or that was more socially acceptable? That is also not a fair comparison either, even though it is to our own selves. That was another time in our lives with different circumstances and situations than what we are going through now. It’s unfair and inaccurate to compare your body and who you are now to what you were going through or who you were at another time. It also reinforces that who you are now is not good enough or worthy, which is not true.
Numbers don’t define you – celebrate the miracle that is your body
Numbers like your weight, clothing size, or even from your blood work do not define who you are nor does it determine your self-worth. It took me years to fully understand and integrate this concept in my life. We are so much more than a bunch of numbers or statistics.
Take the time each day to do activities and hobbies that bring you joy. Move your body in ways that feel great and give you energy. Practice viewing your body as your home and sacred vehicle through which you experience and participate in the world. Celebrate and be proud of what your body is and what it can do.
Give yourself permission to love and take care of your body in this present moment
Have you ever played that game where you wait until you lose x amount of pounds, or fit into size x,y,z clothes, before purchasing new clothes? Well, I have, and it is exhausting and depressing. When we do this, we are denying ourselves present amenities for some time in the future when we think we are worthy of it. Buy that awesome dress right now, take that vacation, and wear that swimsuit on the beach. Time flies and the present moment is so precious. Don’t wait for tomorrow or on certain conditions to wear or to do what you want. Live now as your true, authentic self.
This also applies to other aspects of self-care, like consistent health habits. Taking care of your body through eating well-balanced and nourishing meals, exercising, managing any stress, and getting quality sleep is an act of self-love and care. Allow yourself to do it without any conditions.
Create a supportive environment around yourself
While I have detailed the evils of social media when it comes to body shaming and judgment, there is another side to it. There are amazing influencers and content creators on Instagram, Tik Tok and other social media outlets, who create empowering body positivity and acceptance content. I follow many of these creators on IG, and find their mix of debunking edited influencer and celebrity photos, body positive messaging, and practices for better body image very helpful. Several different research studies have shown that women who viewed body positivity or body neutrality social media content experienced better body image and less body dissatisfaction because of those interventions.
In addition, having a loving and compassionate inner circle of family and friends can make a huge difference. Make sure the company you keep is supporting your journey towards better body positivity and confidence.
Affirmations for body positivity, acceptance and confidence
A great way to start shifting your automatic negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings around your body is to practice saying positive affirmations. Saying them in front of a mirror can magnify their effectiveness. Repeating them consistently, every day, will have the most impact and will work to slowly shift your outlook on yourself and your body in a positive and supportive direction. Below are some examples:
- I love and accept my body, fully and unconditionally
- I am grateful for my body, and everything that it does for me
- My body is a miracle, and is capable of incredible things
- I am beautiful at any weight, size or shape
- I am vastly more than my weight, size, shape or appearance
- I can pursue health goals regardless of my weight or size
- I take loving care of my body and mind
- I wear nice clothes that fit me properly because I deserve it and am worth it
- My body loves me unconditionally and is my best friend
- I accept and love my body as it is right now
- I take gentle, good care of my body and mind
- I deserve to feel positive and confident about my body as it is right now
- My weight and size does not determine my self-worth or self-esteem
- I appreciate my body and everything it is capable of doing, and of what it allows me to do
- My self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence are unconditional
- I deserve to feel confident and good in my swimsuit
- I allow myself to feel comfortable and good in my body
- My body is infinitely complex and intricate, and is so much more than just something to look at
- I don’t have to have perfect body image in order to take care of myself or to feel good in my body
Loving and accepting your body unconditionally is an act of defiance
Actively accepting, appreciating and loving our bodies unconditionally is an act of rebellion in a world that is constantly telling us that we aren’t good enough just as we are right now. Moreover, embracing these beliefs and practices doesn’t mean we can’t set and work towards health goals and aspirations. But it does mean we can do it from a foundation of self-love and worthiness, instead of low self-esteem and shame. Whether you resonate more with body neutrality, acceptance, or positivity, feeling confident and worthy in the skin you’re in is a revolution that I hope you will join.
If you are seeking a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space to work on your health goals, please book a free 20-minute discovery call with me here and let’s chat. Also, if you are interested in learning more about this topic, and other pertinent health topics, please subscribe to the SeemaShahRD Newsletter.